This week I have been teaching about how to overcome insecurities. I have released four videos this week, along with a live Q&A session that corresponds with this series, and I encourage you to check those out.
In this blog post, I want to give you four keys that will help you move forward in this area, take ground, and most of all, become the person that God wishes you to be, both internally and externally.
Dealing with Insecurity
Are you an insecure person? Have you dealt with a sense of inferiority? Have you experienced what some have termed imposter syndrome? For those who are not familiar with the term, it simply refers to the idea that you feel inadequate in a given situation—as if, at any given moment, you might be found out, as if you do not really belong or are not qualified in that context.
Have you ever felt insecure in a relationship? Insecure in a relationship with a friend, a partner, or even with God?
In today’s series, I am going to give you some practical keys that will help you move forward in this area of your life. I know this will be a blessing to you, but, as with all truths, the blessing is not in the acquisition of knowledge, but rather in the application of knowledge. Selah.
Key Number One: Acknowledging the Reality of Insecurities
This is a simple yet profound key. The first step to changing any problem is to acknowledge its existence and role within your life. One of the things I have noticed over many years of ministry in various contexts is that the people who are truly capable, those at the top of their profession, whether in the secular or Christian world, all deal with insecurities. The truth is that those who are confident and competent are usually the people who are more aware of their own insecurities and lack of internal confidence. They have not reached a high place in their careers because they have no challenges in this area. Rather, they have reached the place they occupy because they are intimately aware of these challenges and have learned to deal with them effectively.
The first key to effectively dealing with insecurity is to see it and be aware of it. To walk in courage does not mean we will never have any fear. Rather, a courageous person is one who learns to be aware of and overcome their fears. In the same manner, I encourage you to be one who is clearly aware of your own insecurities, yet you see them as something you can learn to easily overcome.
You may have never thought in these terms, but I believe that God is the most confident being in the universe. I believe that God has a vision of the person He originally created you to be and how He wishes you to live. God knows the character He placed inside you, and insecurity, fear, and lack of confidence are not part of His vision. He does not envision you as a brash or arrogant person, but rather as someone with quiet and calm assurance.
“Quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15 NKJV)
Key Number Two: Being Secure in Our Relationship with God
We were never created or designed to be insecure in any way, shape, or fashion. The most secure being in the universe, Father God, created you to live and flourish in perfect and glorious relationship with Him. God placed Adam and Eve in a glorious garden where every need they could imagine was perfectly met. In that context, God walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day. They were both naked and unashamed, in their relationship with each other and with God. God saw everything about them, and He approved of everything about them. There was no shame, no insecurity, and no fear. It was only after sin entered the picture that insecurity entered the hearts of humankind. Immediately after sin, Adam and Eve began to hide from God. Initially, they hid behind the bushes, and then they tried to sew fig leaves into coverings to hide their nakedness from God. Insecurity is a result of sin. It is vital that we understand this simple truth.
While we do not have time to unpack this truth at length here, there is a glorious reality that Jesus took every insecurity and shame on the cross of Calvary. In the same way that Jesus paid for our sins on the cross, He also bore our shame. He was stripped naked so that we could be clothed in His righteousness. He bore the shame, rejection, and reproach of the entire world.
“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” (Isaiah 53:4 NKJV)
As a result of Christ’s work on the cross, we are now accepted in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:6 NKJV)
The key to living in security in every part of our lives is to begin by establishing security in our relationship with God.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life… shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NKJV)
HOW DO WE PRACTICALLY ESTABLISH SECURITY IN OUR LIVES?
- Find Bible verses that cover this topic.
- Confess and dwell on those Bible verses until they move from your head to your heart.
- Begin to relate to God on the basis of His Word, not on the basis of your emotions. You may feel insecure, and you may feel unsure of how God thinks about you, but as you begin to develop a relationship with Him based on His Word rather than your feelings, you will grow in that relationship.
Key Number Three: Being Secure Within Yourself
The third key to conquering insecurity is learning to come to a place of security within yourself. There is an important truth: we often confuse internal and external security. It is impossible to construct a life with enough external security to provide you with internal security. If you think about this, you will find that much of our Western lifestyle is designed to provide external security. We want excellent healthcare, money in our bank accounts, a stable job, to live in a safe society, and to feel secure in the relationships around us.
There is nothing wrong with any of these things, and I believe it is God’s will to provide them for us. However, it is not God’s will for us to seek from external sources a place of security that only He can provide in our inner being. Our problems do not lie with the externalities of life but with the internal issues we need to resolve.
HOW DO WE MOVE INTO A PLACE OF INTERNAL SECURITY?
Firstly, it is important to understand that we are composed of spirit, soul, and body. “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NKJV)
Most of us are very aware of our bodies, but the challenges of insecurities do not usually come from this part of our being. Our spirit is the part of us made in God’s image. “God is Spirit.” (John 4:24 NKJV) When Adam sinned, man died spiritually. “In the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die.” (Genesis 2:17 NKJV) In Christ, the spirit is made alive. “And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” (Romans 8:10 NKJV)
Your spirit is joined with Jesus. “But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1 Corinthians 6:17 NKJV)
Your spirit is perfect; it is re-created in the image and likeness of Jesus. It is perfectly accepted in the sight of God. Simply put, you have no problems in your spirit. When dealing with insecurity, all of our problems stem from our soul—our mind, will, and emotions. God’s plan for believers is that we submit our will to the Spirit, renew our mind with His Word, and then our emotions will enable us to enjoy and experience what God has given us in the Spirit.
The reason we experience internal insecurity is that we allow a fallen nature, Satan, and other voices to speak lies to us about ourselves, which deny the reality of God’s Word. Satan will come to every person and say, “You are not good enough. You are not attractive enough. You are inadequate.” When we entertain these thoughts, we internalize them, and they become scripts running on our internal “computer.” As we dwell on these thoughts, we will eventually experience them emotionally, even if they are not based on reality.
We overcome internal insecurities by renewing our minds with God’s Word, dwelling on it, thinking about it, and praising God for its reality until it becomes so real that our emotions begin to experience it.
When we declare every day, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV), it will become our living reality, and we will be secure in that identity—not in an identity defined by the world, but one that God has decreed over us.
Simply put, we need to replace the thoughts we have internalized from our parents, culture, and experiences with the thoughts of God (His Word).
KEY NUMBER FOUR: DEVELOPING EXTERNAL SECURITIES
Let me begin with the bad news: We are broken people living in a broken world, and that broken world is filled with broken people.
- Broken people break people.
- Hurt people hurt people.
- Rejected people reject people.
- Insecure people create cultures of insecurity.
We can learn to navigate external challenges to insecurities at many levels and achieve many victories in this area, but it is vital to recognize that we are not in control of many of these externalities. As believers, we can live in perfect security in our relationship with God. We can, through diligent application of God’s Word, live in perfect security within our inner being. However, while we are here on earth, we will face external circumstances that we cannot control completely. Maturity in this area comes from recognizing this truth and learning how to navigate these challenges effectively.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME EXTERNAL CHALLENGES TO INSECURITY?
- Ask God for Wisdom and Guidance, and Be Led by the Holy Spirit in Our Lives. Many times, we find ourselves in relationships or situations that God does not desire for us. This could be a work situation, a friendship, or a place God never intended for us to go. When we listen to and obey the Holy Spirit’s leading, we can avoid many places of external insecurity. For example, I would feel insecure walking one foot away from a dangerous cliff edge. Instead of trying to conquer that insecurity, it would be wiser not to put myself in that situation in the first place. In the same way, if we pray and seek God’s guidance, we can avoid many potential pitfalls that could trigger insecurity.
- We can learn that, as we are dealing and interacting with other people, we are often dealing and interacting with their own brokenness and insecurities. That will not often change the realities of the situation, and yet, if we live with an awareness that how were being treated has less to do with our own value, and rather finds its source in the brokenness of the other person. This will enables us to have compassion, grace, and understanding. People do not see things as they are, they see things as they are. Jesus, and his earthly ministry was not constantly hurt by the reactions and rejections of others, because he saw clearly what was going on on the inside of them, and in spite of all that loved and ministered to them. We can do the same.
- Lastly, we can learn to use our faith to change and shape the course of external realities around us. God’s plan for the believer is that the internal realities of God’s Word, established within our hearts, should change the external things around us. Our identity is not defined by the things happening around us; rather, our identity is defined by God’s Word. When we establish our hearts in that reality, we can use our faith to affect change in many circumstances external to us. We can never use our faith to override the free will of another person, but we can use our faith to change and shape circumstances that will have a great effect on others around us.
You are called to a life of security in God. God never promises that you will not go through places of insecurity; rather, in those places, He invites you to come back to that internal place. Psalm 46 speaks of a man going through terrible external struggles, and yet, in verse 10, the admonition is: “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10 NKJV) One of the most powerful lessons a believer can learn is not to respond to external challenges, but to allow these to serve as prompts to remind him to come back to the truth of who God says he is. Selah.